Are Blondes as Picky as the Men Who Prefer Them?

Jayne MansfieldI’m still regarded a libidinous lad by a lot of (especially buxom blonde) ladies, so this muscular, boyishly handsome 5’8 black 58-year-old ALMOST ALWAYS ogles well-endowed women because I’m proud to be considered an aging lad!!!! How ’bout it, girls?

That’s one of the more colorful comments I’ve received (slightly edited to include all the vital stats he’s provided over time).

“Lusty” (part of his moniker) has voiced his buxom blonde penchant on numerous occasions, so I asked:

“Do you think Buxom Blondes are as picky as you?”

“Well, maybe,” he responded. “But as long as I can remember, I’ve been captivated by bosomy women — white, black, Latina, etc. — but buxom blondes are my faves.”

Little wonder, since they are regularly presented as the most prized by our society — though the preference has been moving toward “racially ambiguous” (meaning you can’t tell what race the woman is). Still, most starlets today embody Lusty’s preference.

Sooo many men desire buxom blondes and think they’re “the best.” But if BB’s are similarly restricted in their preferences (and why not, when they’ve got so much to choose from) then few men would seem to stand a chance. It just doesn’t seem to occur to a lot of men that snobbery can run both ways, leaving them out of the running, too.

I suspect that narrow notions of beauty benefit few (mostly corporations that sell products by making people feel bad about themselves).

But when only some are esteemed, everyone else ends up feeling deprived and frustrated. Women, because they don’t fit the narrow notions, and men, because they can’t have the limited number of women who do.

Meanwhile fabulous people, who may be a much better match, and who could please us more, end up out in the cold.

And that leaves too many lonely and lacking deep satisfaction.

Instead of running about like lemmings, led around by society’s dictates, why not find beauty in the varieties of women and men around us? And in the men and women we are actually with?

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About BroadBlogs

I have a Ph.D. from UCLA in sociology (emphasis: gender, social psych, women's psych). I currently teach sociology and women's studies at Foothill College in Los Altos Hills, CA. I have also lectured at San Jose State University. And I have blogged for Ms. Magazine, The Good Men Project and Daily Kos.

Posted on March 21, 2012, in body image, gender, men, psychology, sexism, women and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 10 Comments.

  1. Yeah i believe blondes are very picky and you would also have to be a very picky person to actually choose to be with someone that is blonde. not that there is anything wrong with being blonde but from what i’ve noticed they go for a certain type. growing up, i’ve never seen a blonde with a black guy. its very rare to me, and i’ve also never seen a blonde with any other man besides a european man . im not sure of what type of man they would prefer but cant tell you that they men aren’t so picky in who they are choosing .

    • Thanks Allen. I do know of blondes who love, and are partners with, Black men. But part of what troubled me is the “colorism” (preferring light over dark) expressed by Lusty. And Lusty is dark-colored, after all! So why that preference? Shouldn’t we appreciate a variety of colors and types?

  2. Wu Cheuk Yin, Cherry

    Since I am an international student, I don’t really know how picky the blondes are. Nevertheless, there are many valuable, smart, and interesting black men who don’t fit in the mold that has been created by our society. The color of a person’s skin shouldn’t’t matter, nor should their ethnicity, sex, age, or weight. I think that good character of human being is always the decision for people to prefer.

    • re: “a person’s skin shouldn’t’t matter, nor should their ethnicity, sex, age, or weight”

      That’s what we’re aiming for, fighting for.

      Unfortunately we still live in a world of racism, colorism, agism, homophobia and “lookism.” But bringing this to people’s attention and allowing them to think about and critique it allows people to rethink what they’re unconsciously fed. Only then can they change their ways of seeing.

  3. Megan Aldridge

    I think that this blog makes a great point when it states “[i]t just doesn’t seem to occur to a lot of men that snobbery can run both ways, leaving them out of the running, too.” I can entirely see how men can unintentionally raise the expectations for themselves while they raise them for women. And I cannot wrap my mind around the idea of mean actually preferring “racially ambiguous” women to natural women. Women are beginning to lose uniqueness and it’s awful to see. I believe that it is only fair to put the same expectations on men if they are going to put them on women.

  4. From my personal experience I wouldn’t say that blondes themselves are more attractive then any other based on that fact alone. It is the association that has been placed on them that men are chasing after. We are told that “blondes have more fun” and excuse the stereotype, but blondes arent too bright and that much easier to sleep with. Men are raised with the idea that we need as many conquests as possible, and brunettes are more intelligent so they will take much more effort to seduce. Which to be honest, is one the dumbest things i have heard to date.

  5. Marcus Coleman

    Blondes get a bunch of credit as if a woman with blonde hair is on another level or somethong. Does the color of your hair really make you more oicky? If so that’s CRAY!

  6. Plain women can’t be picky. Rightttt!

  7. goodolblackcanadianboybrad1953

    Most men can’t be picky,either.

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