Women Want Casual Sex? Yes and No
Women want casual sex as much as men, says one study. No they don’t, says another.
Which is it?
Maybe you’ve heard of this project: strangers approach students on college campuses and propose a one night stand or a short-term fling. Women almost always decline, but a lot of men accept.
Standard conclusion: evidence supports evolutionary psychology which claims women are picky, wanting faithful men with good genes, who will provide for their children. Men, on the other hand, will have sex with as many women as possible to better “spread their seed.”
But wait. A new study found that women were as likely to accept casual offers as men. So long as the possible partners were Brad Pitt or Johnny Depp.
Neither Brad nor Johnny propositioned real live research subjects. Rather, men and women were surveyed on a variety of scenarios.
Would you like to have sex if a stranger propositioned you in broad daylight? Survey says women find this set-up is no more appealing on paper than in the real life original study. Real or imagined, men were much more likely than women to accept.
What if fears of violence were removed? Women were asked if they’d like to have sex with their best male friend. Not really. Men were much more interested in sex with a female friend.
How about sexy men who seemed non-violent. Johnny Depp or Brad Pit? By all means, YES!!! Just as interested as men were in having sex with Angelina Jolie or Christy Brinkley.
Researchers queried on a variety of factors that might drive appeal or repulsion, including assumed sexual capability, status, warmth, faithfulness, likely gift-giving, or worries about danger, STDs or mental illness.
For women, nothing much affected their feelings other than worries about violence, or most especially, sexual capability.
For the most part, women said “no” to strangers and good friends because they didn’t think they’d enjoy sex with them very much. And they said yes to Johnny and Brad because they thought they would.
Still, another survey found that large numbers of women regretted one-night stands. While 80% of men had positive feelings, only 54% of women did. Displeased women felt used or worried about their reputations, while the men felt even more confident after these encounters. Lead researcher, Professor Anne Campbell of Durham University (UK) explained, “What the women seemed to object to was not the briefness of the encounter but the fact that the man did not seem to appreciate her.”
Others have found emotional connection to be extremely important to women. Women who respond to my blog constantly say they enjoy sex, but that it needs to be with someone they care about.
Maybe the truth lies somewhere in between. I need a strong emotional connection, myself. But I’d make an exception for Brad or Johnny.
Is my general preference due to evolutionary psychology? I doubt it. American Indians and Tahitians were promiscuous before European contact, so I don’t think monogamy’s in the genes.
In the western world women’s sexuality is repressed by negative messages from parents, friends, religious instructors, words like slut and whore, and worries about reputations. The threat of sexual violence can make sex seem fearful, while the act of sexual violence can make sex seem abhorrent. Since women are the sex objects, we don’t have sexy men to focus on. Instead we too often dwell on ourselves, distracted by how good or bad we look. All of this makes emotional connection an important component for many women.
My conclusion: Women are as biologically capable as men of wanting casual sex. But a lot of women want a lot more.
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Posted on March 23, 2011, in body image, feminism, gender, men, psychology, sex, sexism, women and tagged casual sex, Evolutionary Psychology, feminism, gender, men, men's health, psychology, sex, sexism, sexuality, social psychology, women. Bookmark the permalink. 40 Comments.
I do agree with your perspective on woman’s take about having casual sex. As a young college student I can agree with the statement that women enjoy sex just as much as men, but they do want more. It’s is this double standard that society has set up for men and women. Men are known in their biology to be promiscuous, whereas women have been told that being promiscuous will hurt their reputation, regardless if their biological makeup is the same as men in sexual desire. A man who sleeps around a lot is known as a “player”, but women still want him; a woman who sleeps around a lot is considered to be “easy” or a “slut” and most men stray away from those kinds of women when they look for a stable relationship. Why though? Society has set up guidelines that influence the way people think so much that is effects the lives of many people on a daily basis, regardless of how validated those guidelines may be. Society has taught women to not be “easy”, and to only have sex with partners that matter to them because that is how a women should behave. But if both men and womens biological makeup for sex is built the same way, why doesn’t society take that into consideration?
I find this very interesting and i agree with that. I do believe women want more than just casual sex because we think more about ourselves and our futures. Women overthink everything for example if that person is healthy, does he work or go to school, family history. we don’t want to be having casual sex with random guys we don’t know. But it was interesting how women would say yes to having casual sex with Bratt and Jhonny. I think women said yes to that because these guys are in the public eye so we know that hey aren’t sick and they are good people with good family history. Also since they are famous people women wouldn’t mind one night because we can see them in movies and we wouldn’t mind living the story in the movie with these guys.
I believe when it comes to sex women and men see sex in a very different way. For a women sex is not just sex, it’s more than that. It’s about making a connection with their partner and with casual sex they won’t make the connection that their looking for. For men they don’t care to make connection with the person they are having sex with. That is why more men have more one night stand then a woman would. For men it’s easy to have sex with strangers or friends with no feelings attached. More women don’t like to have sex with their male friend. But even if they do sooner or later they are going to be attached physically and emotionally to their male friend. And in most cases the women is going to get hurt by the male friend. Because the male friend just want to be friends with benefits and nothing more. So the answer to your question is no.
I’m not sure woman want casual sex as much as men do, but I am sure we want something; something more than sex. It’s funny how my boyfriend and I argue about this quite often. We agree that more girls and at younger ages are more often having casual sex, but as he would say it in his own words, “their being sluts.” According to him, it’s the new “cool thing” for young girls to do, but I don’t agree. These young girls are learning it from someone or something. We know there are so many influences which are to be blamed for the problem, but in the end it all boils down to one thing, “why is it such a problem?” These young girls are just exploring their sexuality just as men do. I’m a 23year old woman now, and I know that is young, but I was once a younger woman who tried to be “sexually experienced” yet “sexually inexperienced” at the same time. Although I was influenced by the ideals of what woman should be, I’m glad to say I was able to experience because it’s part of what made me who I am today. According to me, woman just want equality. Woman are fed up with being restricted to what men say is okay for them to do or not do and their doing what feels good, sex. After that, they will decide if it’s going to be casual or not. Why does it matter? If woman having casual sex can be accepted as the norm, than maybe this is a step toward greater equality for woman.
I definitely agree that the message women receive about their sexuality is obscured and unreasonable. I think that men and women are equals on a sexual plane but it is unfair for a woman to ‘want more’ than a one time deal when considering regular guys as opposed to the likes of Johnny Depp and Brad Pitt. This is clearly a double standard and to be completely honest it makes women just as shallow as men,not just regarding looks but also wealth, fame and power. Finally I believe that the main reason promiscuity is normative amongst men and torrid amongst is because men lift up men while women drag down women. If a man sleeps with woman, the man leaves feeling happy while his friends are happy for him whereas as the woman maybe be happy at first but once her friends are clued in they begin to negatively judge her.
Woman Want Casual Sex? Yes and No
I think some women want casual sex, however if a woman can get more she will.. I also think that there is a small portion or percentage of women that act like men and think like men, well they try to think like men.. When I say women try to think like men, some women are hurt and have been hurt some many times, they put up a guard. Now don’t get me wrong men have been hurt too, that could be the reason why some men are dogs, some women are dogs too, said but true. Some women that I know have the attitude as some men. They just want casual sex, friends with benefits, sex with no strings attached…. They don’t mind sleeping around as long as there is no pain involved no deep feelings. All in all I do think women can have casual sex. I just wish more humans would be safe about what they do and how they do it.. Everything is not everyone’s business be more discreet you shouldn’t endanger yourself over a piece of butt. Just think, it only last for a few minutes…That’s after the four play if you’re lucky..
Woman Want Casual Sex? Yes and No
A friend of mine would not accept the proposition of having a one night stand with a complete stranger. She would want to get to know the person first whether or not she is intimate with him. She is waiting until marriage because she feels that waiting is the right thing to do. At least for her it is. She doesn’t have to worry about birth control, STDs, getting pregnant, and other things. It is just easier that way. There are two ways that could go. Being intimate with her boyfriend could strengthen their relationship or it could ruin it. She feels that being intimate is special and should happen when she and her boyfriend are ready. If her boyfriend is not willing to respect her and her choice then he’s not the one for her. If he cared about her he would wait. Also, if he could not wait until marriage then they should break up before he were to pursue another woman who was willing to have sexual relations with him. Also, her boyfriend’s mother believed that they were having sex so she told her son to be safe. She has daughters but she would probably tell the daughters to wait until marriage. Boys are told by their parents that as long as they are safe they can have sex. Women on the other hand are just told to remain abstinent. Do women want casual sex? Some do and some don’t. Men are told that they can be promiscuous but women are supposed to be sexy but virginal. Women want to have a spiritual, emotional, physical connection with the person they choose to be with whether they have sex or not. I agree with Princess C. Many women and men have been hurt so they get with as many partners without the deep feelings so that they do not get hurt again. They do need to be safe about how they do this though. It is alright for everyone to have casual sex in my opinion if that is what they choose to do. As long as no one gets hurt and everyone is safe then it is up to them if they want to have casual sex or not. It should be private though and not broadcast for the whole entire world though.
I believe that there are some women out there that really don’t like to commitment part of a relationship but I don’t believe that they want casual sex as in a different partner all the time, but I do believe in the friends with benefits concept. Right after I got out of my 7 year relationship I stayed single for 3 years, until I met my husband, and I had a friend that we really were just friends that hooked up sometimes. We had dated a bit and tried to do the relationship thing and it just wasn’t what we both wanted but the sex was great. So we decided to keep having the good sex but no commitment involved. The best part of it was that we were great friends. I know as a woman you have to have some kind of emotional connection to someone in order for the sex to be good there has to chemistry of some kind for a woman or it’s just not there. Some men, not all, are very different than women; they can have sex with a girl one night and move on to the next the very next night. There is no emotional connection for them to get turned on. For women we need that, we need the spark in order to be turned on it is not enough to just be good looking. I just don’t think that women can have sex like men do.
Honestly, the traditional evo-psych theories never-claimed women don’t want casual sex in and of itself, just not in the way men do (have sex with any woman passing a certain level of threshold) – and that men would be programmed to find sex pleasurable as long she meets certain basic criteria. Whereas (it claimed) women would prefer it with higher-status and socially popular men.
But EP was using this study, which was disproven, to support their theory.
On your latter point, I teach this stuff and and have written about it, and you’re the only person I’ve run across who’s never seen any evidence of it in real life. Most people easily recognize this from their high school/college experiences.
Students constantly relate their experiences with this phenomenon.
I’ve also had a lot of personal experience with this, so much so that I was more sexually interested at 10 than at 20. Other women have had similar experiences. I wonder how many men have this experience? You also see the effects of culural repression when you compare how much more orgasmic women are in cultures that don’t repress their sexuality.
I wrote another piece on “Frats invite sluts, bitches…” and you can see it even there. Women who are sexual are seen as sluts. Men aren’t.
Take a look at Michael Kimmel’s “Guyland.” He studied college men. There’s ample evidence in this sociological study, as well.
And I am talking about what is typical. Which is probably 9 partners for men. If men are having sex with hundreds of women (which few are) then they would be labeled “man whores” or the like (the addition of the word “man” telling you who is normally the whore – women. Takes way fewer partners for women to be labeld this.)
The references for both quotes you ask about are the book I linked to at the beginning of the said paragraphs: Why Women Have Sex by Cindy Meston and David Buss. http://www.amazon.com/Why-Women-Have-Sex-Understanding/dp/0805088342
the IU sex survey I link to at the top also mentions this.
I don’t think women are as biologically apt for casual sex as men. biologically sex has a great connection to pregnancy and for a woman that means carrying a child, which today can be serious business especially if there are economic difficulties or not much space at home. i think that men too should be wise about “casual” sex and probably not just ejaculate left and right because I think it has a stupefying effect. better to practice tantra or karezza.
Maybe. But women who live in sex-positive cultures typically have many partners (Tahitian and American Indian before EU contact, eg). In those communities the village raises the child with brothers, in particular, very engaged.
There is a serious flaw in the conclusion that women are not interseted in casual sex becuase they all turn down a sexual propisition when approached by a stranger in the street. The flaw is that there is no seduction. From personal experience I have found women to be interested in casual sex or a short sexual relationship but only when there has been somekind of sexual attraction and a build up of sexual tension. I think woman are open to sex like men but they have to be in the mood for it. Sure they worry about their reputations and getting pregant etc, but when she is sexually arroused it is hard for her to resist. Approaching a woman in a very practical and unemotional way without anykind of seduction is unlikely to produce a positive response. Why not repeat the same experiment with women that have been sexually arroused in some way.
You make an interesting point. Would like to see some research of this sort done.
I think there is a certain point in a woman’s life when we want casual sex without commitment. Whether it is because we just ended a relationship or were dumped, we might want to have a one time sexual encounter with someone because we think it will make us feel better. Or we do it just to satisfy some sexual urges without committing to a full on relationship. This is all well and good in theory, but it usually does not work out and we end up feeling worse about ourselves. We then realize that this is not the kind of life style that has any sort of positive future in it, unless one of the one-night-stands turn into an actual relationship which is what we ultimately want in the end. This is what differs us from men because they are usually not thinking about pursuing a committed relationship with a women they are having casual sex with, when women are almost always considering it.
These statistics are not based on women of the same culture, and family values, culture, religion and moral principles that make a huge impact on women’s decisions to accept casual sex or not. Women act differently depending on the race what they belong to, or the ethnic background that each woman has, all those facts above influences women thinking and lets them care about their reputation.
On the other side I see that it’s the beginning of a big chain, because there are young women who want to be part of certain groups of peers and these woman just pretend to enjoy casual sex even if they never had it, just to be accepted by the group, and this kind of woman can help to increase the “yes” answer and let studies of researchers show up that women were as likely to accept casual sex than men.
True, subculture, values etc can make a difference. But there’s also an overall pattern, and that’s what these studies are capturing.
What if a man who I slept with and loved him betrays me? I’ll go crazy! I mean a man should be trustworthy in the first place.
I think most women — and men — would go crazy, or at least be very hurt.
I do agree with this as I also need “a strong emotional connection.” But I also think casual sex is not bad if women like it, and maybe it can loads of fun. For me, though, sex without an emotional connection turns to be “lending my body to a person.” I do not want to be just an outlet for men’s sexual desire, that is, a sex object. Only if my partner loves me, respects me, and cares for me, I would have a wonderful sex. I’d respect women who want to enjoy casual sex, but they should know that it has a lot of risks and men have more advantages than women when it comes to casual sex..I think.
This article makes very interesting points. I am one of the women who agrees that I would prefer an emotional sexual connection rather than a one night stand or even a special but non commited “friend”. I’ve had serious relationships to one nighters to exclusive “f” buddies. However the serious relationships lasted the longest because that’s really what I am always looking for. I don’t feel good about one nighters or even an exclusive, yet non labeled relationship. At least for myself I can say that I agree with the last paragraph stating that because it is women that are the sex objects we are constantly scrutinizing ourselves during the act. This takes away from the enjoyment of casual sex and yes this is why an emotion component is of value to women. I like sex just as much as the next man or woman but I also know I need an emotional attachment to feel comfortable enough to enjoy myself with this person. I have a friend that jumps from guy to guy, but it’s not even about sex for her because she’s admitted to me that she doesn’t even really enjoy sex that much. And she never fails to try and morph these casual sexual encounters into a relationship. I know females that have a higher sex drive then their partners but all of them, hands down want love to be the key emotion involved.
About the project with strangers approaching students on a college campus sounds a little awkward to me. It’s not an ideal environment to test such thing. In my opinion, proposals to casual sex most often happen in a different context, such as a parties or clubs. There is a possibility that some of those people who were approached by the stranger might have felt that something wasn’t right, or it was being tricked or simply didn’t feel attracted by the stranger. The same people (women) who said no at the college campus, perhaps would have said yes if they were in a party and if they felt attracted by a stranger. What I mean is that this project doesn’t seem to me like a reliable way of finding data/evidence in this case.
I think that one of the reasons why women might be interested in casual sex is to explore this experience that apparently makes men feel so empowered. Also, before wasn’t common for women to want casual sex because they used to be way more worried about their reputation. But nowadays, not that I agree or think it is any good, but values have changed a lot and, unfortunately in a sense, people became way more liberal about sex.
I think biologically this makes sense. The point is to reproduce with your offspring having the greatest chance of not only surviving but being awesome.
Men want to have sex with lots of hot women. It makes sense because even if they bail, the hot women can still find some guy who will provide for her and the baby somewhere down the line.
Women are not only looking to reproduce with hot guys but not die during pregnancy or caring for the baby. So she not only wants the hot guy but she wants the guy at the top of the social ladder who can provide what she needs when she needs it. People like Brad Pitt etc fit this mold they’re good looking rich famous adored by all. Some stranger or your guy friend probably doesn’t fall into that category which is why women naturally don’t see casual sex with them as appealing. It’s why women are cool with having guy friends because if the powerful male bails on her she has a fallback plan in place with an army of guys who’d give their left arm for her. So she’s able to get the best seed and still provide for the young it works out.
Thanks for your comment. It’s certainly in line with evolutionary psychology. I suspect the roots are more cultural though. Check out this post and let me know what you think. I’d be interested to hear your perspective.
Are Women Naturally Monogamous?
http://broadblogs.com/2010/12/20/are-women-naturally-monogamous-2/
The double standard is harmful to both genders and it needs to be stopped, NOW. Even language like ‘easy’ has assumptions behind it that it is a man’s goal to have sex, but it is a woman’s goal to refuse sex, so if they end up having sex, the woman was ‘easy’ to get into bed. The double standard pronotes stigmatisation of lone mothers, rape culture, victim-blaming and slut-shaming. Of course both genders love sex equally, let’s just accept it. And even children are sexual/exploring sexuality eg kissing other children (as I did aged 4/5) and saying they are boyfriends and girlfriends. In one school in America two 6 and 7 year old kids had oral sex. See, sexuality is inherent in us. Freud tried to tell us that a century ago (although he degraded female sexuality, stigmatised gays etc) but WE STILL CAN’T ACCEPT WHAT THE VICTORIANS ACCEPTED. Personally I would never sleep with a bad person or Creationist. I’m selling my virginity to a guy I like – I dunno if that is an emotional connection? – but I find unattractive. I met him once to be photographed nude for £100 and then I asked him if he wanted to buy it.
I agree that both genders have the capacity to love sex equally, and that women in our culture enjoy it more than a lot of men think they do. But women’s sexuality is repressed more than men’s, and that negatively affects their enjoyment/interest. Even the fact that men more often buy sex, while women rarely do, reflects uneven sexual desire. (Also, while Freud accepted women’s capacity to enjoy sex, Victorians generally didn’t.)
Otherwise, this experience of selling virginity sounds interesting, to say the least.
You don’t need a PhD or expensive studies to see the obvious which is women simply don’t get much pleasure from sex. If they did then they would do it all the time as we are driven to engage in pleasure. It’s clear that both men and women get lot’s of pleasure from food. I never meet a women too tired, too busy, require loads of romance, emotional connection, and the absence of all stress to down that piece of double layer chocolate cake!
I’m really not trying to bee a jerk, but we should all face facts. Men get an intense spike of pleasure just seeing a women, not to mention the sex itself. Women barely have sexual thoughts and they mistake their desire for protection, resource support, social acceptance, and companionship for actual sexual desire for which they have none or very little.
As a man you can manipulate her non-sexual needs to get her into bed, but I feel that is sad and unsatisfying. I truly wish women could be a partner in pleasure, but that is not reality. Nature doesn’t care about that just crating and raising the next generation, which doesn’t require female pleasure. Wish I was gay.
When men get the difference in male/female sex drive in our culture, I sometimes hear them say they hope there is reincarnation and that they can be reborn gay.
Not all women are alike, and culture makes a huge difference.
So I know a few women in the U.S. who enjoy sex more than their mates. But more often it’s the other way around.
Women who live in cultures that are sex-positive for women enjoy sex much more than women in our society. These women aren’t slut-shamed, told that sex is bad, get into repression, or get distracted by worrying if their bodies are ok instead of enjoying sex.
Sexism is largely behind the problem.
Get rid of sexism and women are much more likely to enjoy sex.
A few posts that get more into this:
Sexual Desire & Sexism
http://broadblogs.com/2012/05/07/sexual-desire-sexism/
Does Sexual Objectification Lead to Bad Sex?
http://broadblogs.com/2011/07/27/does-sexual-objectification-lead-to-bad-sex/
Men Have Higher Sex Drive. Why?
http://broadblogs.com/2011/01/31/men-have-higher-sex-drive-why/
Are Women Naturally Monogamous?
http://broadblogs.com/2010/12/20/are-women-naturally-monogamous-2/
Orgasm: It’s All in the Mind
http://broadblogs.com/2010/12/06/orgasm-it%e2%80%99s-all-in-the-mind/
Pleasuring A Woman
http://broadblogs.com/2011/11/09/pleasuring-a-woman/
Surprises in Indiana University Sex Survey
http://broadblogs.com/2010/10/06/surprises-in-indiana-university-sex-survey/
Men and women are two different beings. The sooner we learn to live together and take time to learn about each other, things will change
Yes, women and men are, on average, different. Interesting to explore how much of that difference comes from biology and how much comes from growing up in different subcultures.
Well if this study is correct then it’s only fair that men start getting better and more “sex positive” from women and feminists.
It’s not fair for men to be constantly told (from people who claim to be cool with casual sex) that if they desire sex with someone and attempt to bed someone prior to getting to know them on some level then they are “superficial and mean” as one women put it to me or treating a woman as if she was a “vagina”.
Yet this seemingly means that it’s cool for Brad Pitt to be “mean”, “shallow”, and treat women like a “vagina”
In sex-positive tribal cultures women are good with lots of sex with lots of men, though since its tribal it’s not strangers, so unsure if it qualifies as casual. If we lived in a more sex-positive culture for women I’m sure they’d be less repressed, more easily orgasmic and multiply orgasmic. And more interested in sex. I suspect our culture of “true love” and soul mates may make things different than tribal life, though.
I get that many women will feel like vaginas if only sex is desired. Makes sense to me to want more than that
I suspect the appeal of Brad and Johnny goes beyond good lovemaking. Attracting them would also be a huge boost to self-esteem, so it also tells women something very positive about themselves. From reading about groupies, it may also create a sense of intercourse with the gods – intercourse in more than one way. Maybe I’ll write on that sometime.
It boils down to the simple female desire : Status. A women will easily give it up for a man with high status Johnny Depp and Brad Pit have status. That is why men that are in powerful positions often get into trouble because they approached often.
While on average women’s sex drive is lower than men’s and they’re less likely to enjoy sexuality, women are very capable of enjoying sex. And I’ve written posts on how to help them.
Years ago, before women could support themselves, they on average cared more about a man having money and status than loving him. Now that they can make their own money they care more about being in love with the man – and yes, enjoying sex with him.
In the study the women said the reason they were most interested in sex with Brad and Johnny was because they thought they would be great in bed. They were less sure that strangers and men they knew would be good in bed. But if one of their friends was rumored to be great in bed the women were into it.
There is a large group of women, in fact, mostly all women, who go to bars and lounges, expecting to get picked up and go home with somebody. I don’t know, necessarily, whether they are looking for just sex, or the future possibilities that happens after the one night stand. Sometimes, women might suffer from the delusion that guys from bars will like them for their identity and who they are inside, not just because they’re another female body that is available for access. And that, is why even though one of your followers says that “it needs to be with someone they care about,” there are tons of women out there who are more than willing to involve themselves with guys from bars even though deep down, they probably know that it’s not going to get anywhere. They suffer from the fantasy that it may lead places.
I would not regret causal sex if he comes back asking for more (either more sex or a relationship). I may likely not want more with him, but it relieves me of the worry I was unappreciated/unsatisfactory. Of the casual encounters where he did want to go on and I did not, I have no regrets and am glad I had them. Of the ones where he disappeared, I am at best neutral, of some concerned if maybe I had somehow underdelivered – even though rationally I realise that likely he was not looking for anything more in the first place.
“My conclusion: Women are as biologically capable as men of wanting casual sex. But a lot of women want a lot more.”
I agree with this statement. Women are more emotional creatures. I would find it hard to have sex just to have sex with someone. I would have to have some kind of feelings for that person. Usually after I had sex with someone I liked, my feelings got stronger for that person. As far as having sex with Johnny or Brad…well I would make an exception only because I know I couldnt have them and that oppurtunity would never come around again..Im sure that if I was friends with both of them I would probably feel differently…maybe. I have often thought what it would feel like just to have casual sex with someone but I dont think I could ever bring myself to do it. I was raised in a military home and taught to respect my body and to hold on to what is consider sacred. With that being said, I didnt give myself to just anyone. I can count the number of men I have slept with on one hand.
Men can have casual sex because most of them are physical creatures and often dont give the “emotional” part of it a second thought unless it’s someone that they are in love with. It seems that men + casual sex = a right of passage..
“In the western world women’s sexuality is repressed by negative messages from parents, friends, religious instructors, words like slut and whore, and worries about reputations. The threat of sexual violence can make sex seem fearful, while the act of sexual violence can make sex seem abhorrent. Since women are the sex objects, we don’t have sexy men to focus on.”
True. But why is that? Is the double standard a consequence of patriarchic rule or is it a consequence of natural sex differences? As the studies show us, it is much easier for a woman to have sex than it is for a man. Thus a man gets appreciation for his “achievement” whereas a woman comes across cheap and slutty. In my opinion that doesn’t even imply a moral judgment. Morally, promiscuous behavior is generally viewed negatively, regardless of gender. In fact, there even is a tendency to idealize “female sexuality” in our society, as it is seen as more emotional and relationship-oriented than “male sexuality”.
And why do media and sex industry focus on women as sex objects? Probably because it works. After all, capitalism is about realizing profit, not about suppressing women’s sexual desires.
Moreover some kind of monogamy (probably serial monogamy) had to be present in our evolutionary past. Otherwise we wouldn’t even have the (hormonally promoted) desire for pair bonding.
Women’s are culturally repressed. It’s not natural.
When the Europeans came to the American continent they couldn’t believe how sexual the American Indian women were. They were easily and multiply orgasmic and had sex with plenty of men. But these women also lived in a culture that was both egalitarian and sex positive for women. And why do you think Gauguin enjoyed Tahiti so much? Another egalitarian sex positive culture for women. For more see:
Are Women Naturally Monogamous?
http://broadblogs.com/2010/12/20/are-women-naturally-monogamous-2/
Do you really think that calling women sluts and ho’s has no negative impact on their sexuality. Women are way more repressed than men. For more on how our culture represses women:
Sexual Desire & Sexism
http://broadblogs.com/2012/05/07/sexual-desire-sexism/