Men Are Naturally Attracted To Unnatural Women

Pam Anderson before bleaching & surgery

Ask a guy why he looks at porn and he’s likely to say that men are just naturally attracted to women. But the women in porn don’t look too natural.

Actually, women in fashion magazines and billboards don’t look too natural, either.

Women and men can both learn to admire a feminine ideal that ends up frustrating both men and women.

Most women have to starve themselves to be ideally skinny. Many models are so thin that they have stopped menstruating. Isn’t the natural instinct to stay alive and well?

And how about fake breasts? If men are naturally drawn to breasts, why do so many women go under the knife and mutilate themselves so that men – and society – will find them attractive?

Then there’s the preference for blondes. Few women past puberty are true blondes. But unnaturally bleached hair is the top color of choice, both for men and for women who want to look beautiful. Well, at least peroxide doesn’t require enormous amounts of money or risk much bodily harm.

So models go through all their pain and suffering, but it’s not quite enough. Next, the malnourished, plastic-chested, bleached out images go to be photoshopped and airbrushed to look even more fake than they already are.

So women try in vain to match ridiculous notions of beauty. Then get depressed because nothing they do seems to work.

But the models don’t look like “themselves,” either!

At the same time, male students have told me that all this hurts them, too. “What’s wrong with me?” they wonder. “Why can’t I get women who look like THAT?”

Well, those “picture perfect” women don’t actually exist.

So women can never achieve the ideal. And men can never have the ideal woman.

Meanwhile, to many men are left feeling “naturally” attracted to something that isn’t natural.

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About BroadBlogs

I have a Ph.D. from UCLA in sociology (emphasis: gender, social psych, women's psych). I currently teach sociology and women's studies at Foothill College in Los Altos Hills, CA. I have also lectured at San Jose State University. And I have blogged for Ms. Magazine, The Good Men Project and Daily Kos.

Posted on October 21, 2010, in body image, feminism, gender, men, pornography, sex, sexism, women and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 78 Comments.

  1. For men to say that they are attracted to natural women is a lie. Men want the “perfect woman”. Blonde hair, tan skin, perfect body, good complexion and teeth, big boobs, and a butt. Most women don’t look like thisnaturally. They spend hundreds of dollars to get their hair done, get their nails done, get a fake tan, and even possibly get boob jobs, etc; just so men will want them and they will feel good about themselves. Men make women want to be perfect, but then men feel that they can’t get girls who are that perfect. Maybe if men wern’t so picky about the way women looked, woman wouldnt feel the need to be so perfect!

  2. I think its funny that men all want this ideal women, but also say they want a woman who eats meat and real food not just salads. However, if the girl has the body of someone who eats meat and real food they are”fat”. It is such a double standard. I think it is a good thing for women to take care of themselves and their bodies but not to the point that they stop eating and go under the knife to look like something unreal. On the other hand, you have the women in the media who do not care what other people think and they rock a full figure, for example Queen Latifa or America Ferrera. This is a beautiful thing to show, especially young impressionable girls, that not being a size 0 is accepted too.

  3. I would have to say that the media really brings out this fasination to both male and female. The media is really and basically taking charge of what the definition of “beauty” really is even though it’s fake and very dangerous by putting your life and health at risk, but not many people know that. I bet that if people would spread the word on the health risks and the true lives of Super Models..no one would want to be one of them and would change their mind and be happy about how they look right now . I would have to point the finger at the media because they are the ones who are imposing on the outsiders of what “beauty” is or should be.

  4. I loved reading this because it is so very true and if a man says it is not, most likely he is not telling the truth. I have been with the same guy for over 7 years now and he still tells me I am beautiful. I am not a “skinny” woman and I have long dirty blonde hair that I have only gotten highlights in twice. He tells me he would much rather be with a woman like me because I am “real” and because he would not know what to do with someone so superficial. Maybe he is one out of a million, but even if he were to say that he doesn’t get turned on by “fake” women in the media etc, then I would not believe him because he is a man and yes, men are attracted to unnatural. As far as models go, I think it is so sad that they have to be so skinny and malnurished, and that their mothers would allow it. I walk by stores all the time that cater to women not girls, and still their manikins are tiny! Most of the time their large is a junior large. Anyway, I love the way I look and will continue to embrace it.

  5. Men finding fewer women “porn-worthy”-I agree with men thinking women are supposed to look a certain way because of the women they see on porn and the women they see in magazines and on television. They make the women look so beautiful by airbrushing them and dieing their hair and getting plastic surgery. It makes them think well why go for a this girl when there a prettier girls out there like the ones on tv, so they start to compare a lot of women to the “fake” ones. It’s not like the guys even know those women are fake and it’s funny how a lot of men say they like all natural girls that don’t need a lot of make up or fake boobs, but when it comes down to it and they have a natural girl they still think the “fake” ones are better looking. Which starts to affect me because it makes me feel like i’m not good enough, i’m not skinny enough, my hair’s not perfect and I don’t have good enough clothes, it really starts to take a tole on me and i’m sure other women, and the men don’t really understand how I or we feel.

  6. I have to agree with the implication that men are overly influenced by the bodies the ysee in porn and other male magazines catered to what they are supposed to like. I would go as far to say that we as women are influenced as well, by those same things and not just on what we should look like but what our men should look like. Furthermore, we are told by magazines, movies, books and the like about this ideal of what love should feel like and look like. I don’t know about you ladies but I feel disappointed sometimes when my guy doesn’t bring me flowers or notice how pretty I am when I want him to. I grew up watching these movies that told me a man doesn’t truly love me if he is not fawning over me and begging me to marry him. But this is not reality either. These are also stereotypes of relationships we all feel we should have. Porn sells us a distorted view of women and men, as well as what sex is supposed to be like. Yes. But it would not be so popular if we didn’t buy into it. I disagree when some “posters” have implied that all men only want one body type because I am not that body type and I always feel sexy and wanted by the man in my life. I personally think that we all have a lot of growing to do men and women. We have to let each other out of the jail that is the “ideal” person and be completely happy with what is reality.

    • Yes, I agree with your points.

      Women and men both have their ideals that don’t fit well w/reality.

      And, I agree that not all men and women are led by the nose on these ideals. But plenty do. And plenty of women feel inadequate if they don’t “measure up.”

  7. Men, at men in the western region of the world, are possibly only more attracted to this type of women simply because of their exposure. Many of the ads in sport magazines and commercials during male targeted programs feature society’s version of beauty. On a different note, when us women try and become this idealize version of beauty some men will refer it to being “fake”. Women wear makeup as a self-esteem booster and many women wouldn’t have to if society was more open minded. Is it really beautiful to not look as you should? Men, then occasionally complain that the woman is wearing “too much makeup” or “it doesn’t look natural”. There version of the “ideal” woman is the ideal for perfection which no one can possibly obtain.

  8. Darlene Pizzitolo

    Hi

    I think the powerful people who control the U.S are responsible for the unnatural images men and women see every day in the media and magazines. When men see these kind images they think women should look the way the unnatural women look, and women buy into this image because they are trying to emulate what society want. Women should except the natural beauty God has given them, and women shouldn’t worry about the unnatural plastic look that they want us to have.

  9. This is always a huge concern to me. I watch both my brothers lust after women that barely look like they’ve hit puberty — narrow hips, <10% body fat, and subsequently very few of the curves that women are naturally bestowed for child bearing and rearing. Though there is nothing wrong with women of this natural shape, my problem arises in two areas A) how much ladies (like the many past girlfriends of my brother) alter their lives to achieve this outlandish look B) how the mass media chooses to revere this sort of image/woman as the ideal, and bastardize those who are larger than a size 6. As you mentioned Ms. Platt, many women, when striving for an ideal weight, lose their period — therefore temporarily their ability to have children. I have seen many women who are having problems conceiving or having complications with their pregnancies due to a lack of sufficient body weight, and yet that body weight is the standard ideal for women. How can that be something a man instinctually wants/ is attracted to? We all feel the need to reproduce/copulate, and naturally our brain draws us to healthy, fit beings, but not in the case of many (not all) men today — including my brothers. I don't see how this trend (of unobtainable skinniness) has lasted as long as it has… especially since it harms both parties. Women can't achieve the body/look that they want (because it's literally been materialized by the mass media) and men can't find a mate/woman that matches the women they see on the billboards, pornos, blockbusters, or music videos because no woman can naturally be like that (and even those very few who are very close, still get retouched and have a personal trainer).
    It's a horrible cycle, and a great stress on both men and women. I have tried to exempt myself from this "competition" but with images perpetually being hammered into my face, one can never help but be compared to the iconic yet impossible idea of what a woman should look like.

  10. My opinion on this issue of men and women pursuing the ideal beauty that does not exist is simple and straight to the point. We can blame society, media, education and you name it, but the truth is that us humans (men and women) are to be blamed because we are the creators of society and only we can fix this problem. We all know that billboards and magazine models wear 80 lbs of make up and top it off with photo shop or similar applications, yet we chose to be ignorant about the truth and voluntarily choose to chase this lie or fantasy of this so called beauty. What people really need is not to be treated as babies in order to avoid hurting their “precious little feelings”, but to be up front with the real issue. The issue is people not growing a spine and grabbing a hold of their life. For example, in the way Mary Wollstonecraft, Martin Luther King Jr, Martin Luther and Abraham Lincoln did. These role models did not allow the norm or culture of their society to dictate their fate or their society, instead they dictated what society or their circumstances ought to be.

    • People are largely blind to the extent to which they have internalized the notions of their society. Many think of it as being brainwashed. Though related, internalization is different. It means that the way things are in society seem normal, eternal, and remain unquestioned. The only way people can overcome their blindness is to see the social underpinnings of their thoughts.

  11. caitlin scaglione

    I found this very interesting to read and very true. Our society puts so much pressure on young girls and women. Young girls are around barbies with the “perfect body and hair,” or the Princess movies/shows where girls are protrayed as picture perfect. Then as they start to get a little older the same thing is shown for an older age group. Magazines, movies, and shows all have women as a size 0. Then even later on in life there are other reality shows they protray women as those with the perfect body. For example, The real housewives of Orange County. Those women have so much money they can afford to spend money on plastice surgery, clothes, or hours at the gym. It is not realistic for the majority of women, nor should it be protrayed as so.

  12. Society and peoples ideas have ruined any chance of women being “natural”. The stick figures you see in magazines don’t look natural because a vast majority of women nowadays have curves. The only thing that the media does for women is make them feel like they are inadequate if they are not up to the standards they set. For men it gives them this ideal that what they show them is what their women should look like. Everyone has different tastes and standards as far as the opposite sex goes and it is our job to just take a stance and say,” We like what we like and thats it.”.

  13. I agree that men are indeed attracted to the “unnatural woman” but that is simply because men are bombarded with images and ideas from the media but women also have a choice to conform to the ways of the world or not. My girlfriend is not blond, not tan, and not obnoxiously skinny and I love her all the same, I love her inside and out but she is not an “unnatural woman”. Now I understand that I am just one man, and to be completely honest I also find women in magazines attractive too, but these women are not realistic so men must find the natural woman attractive? I think women should always go natural and the more women who make this choice to go natural would lead the media to accept that as the norm.

    • I hope you’re right. But you definately do get two-way effects such that women, bombarded w/these images internalize them unconciously (that is, society’s ideals end up in womens and men’s heads, and it all seems so “normal”). So the images end up having effects on both women and men. The only hope to overcome them is getting outside the unconcious part. You can’t critique or do anything about something you’re not aware of. You don’t even have a choice when the awareness is unconcious.

  14. Women especially in Hollywood get breast implants and try to be something they’re not. They get caught up and want to look like the women in magazines. The thing is no one looks like that because the women and men in magazines are airbrushed. No one is really satisfied with how they look. It would be nice to find role models who are proud of the skin they’re in. The objectification of women must stop. Both women and men should be able to enjoy sex without being objectified. No one’s self esteem should go down but that ends up happening for women for some reason because they are seen as giving up their virginity. Men are gaining it. But men are giving their virginity up as well. The double standard rule is bogus. Women have got to stop calling each other sluts because then that makes it okay for men to call us that. I was reading the book Fear of Flying by Erica Jong. Her character has been with a couple men. I’m not sure if she had sexual relations on the first date but when reading the book, I did not think she was a bad person for having many male partners. She felt she was capable of being with whomever she wanted just like men are. She did end up falling in love with most of them. It was hard for her to de-tach her emotional feelings from the men she had sex with.

  15. Anthalanette Andrews

    Being that I had a tragedy at age 2 which I have had a total of 94 surgeries I refuse to be cut on anymore. I believe that if a man cannot accept me for who I am then shame on him. My question is would a man be willing to make any physical changes for me or would it be I must accept him as he is? Despite all of the surgeries I am still a very attractive woman who doesn’t look my age, and constantly get compliments on how sexy I am. In regards to this blog I must agree that from observation daily I see where men will chase an unnatural woman down before even looking at a natural and attractive woman. Contrary to this I also have seen some men that prefer natural. Natural hair, natural nails, and the natural body that they were born with. As a woman I feel that there are lots of demands, which can be quite difficult to keep up with at times.

    • You’re right. Many men prefer natural women. And I prefer the men who prefer natural women.

      I was exaggerating to make a point. :)

      Thanks for your perspective and for sharing your story.

  16. Tatiana Dehnad

    It is unfortunate that we live in a society where both men and women have unrealistic perceptions and are attracted to the ‘unnatural’ male or female; a main factor of this is the way that society portrays them on magazine covers, on television and billboards. Even though I believe times are changing and people are beginning to accept the more curvy, natural, not disgustingly skinny look–there will always be those who aspire to either be one of those ideal/unnatural people or dream of being with one. It is truly sad, shallow and pathetic that society makes people, women especially, feel inadequate if they do not resemble the billboard of the twig thing super model. I think that if men think twice about what they see in magazines and on television, they will realize that a lot of make up-touch up work is done in the behind the scenes work to make these people look desirable. Not to take anything away from those who are naturally beautiful and do have fabulous physiques, but the reality is most of us do not live up to this expectation and standard set by society. It is a double-edged sword in that if you go out of your way to do implants, plastic surgery, etc. you become that ‘unnatural woman’ that some men turn away from; however, if you do not give into societal pressures you may be viewed as unattractive. All in all, I think that with time and a reality check, men and women alike will realize that the images we see are deceptive and unreal.

  17. I completely agree with some of the other comments posted Men say they are attracted to natural, yet they go for the women who have coke shaped bodies and tiny hips, large breast, long slender legs and a big butt. There are some girls that can work out and eat right and naturally have that body, but most women don’t they have to kill their bodies just to feel attractive enough to men. Men that “holler” at women, or show attention to sexy women, other women notice and look at the women that are “perfect” and they try to be like them. I use to be one of these women who tried to look like these Sexy model type women, but it was all fake. I always hated the freckles on my face, or different things of my body, I use to take diet pills, dye my hair, get my nails done, wear clothes that I saw on TV and wear a lot of make-up. Yeah I got a lot of attention by guys, but they never took me seriously until they got to know me. My boyfriend helped me realize that all the stuff I did to my body was not natural and natural it more beautiful than a face you put on. I have an amazing boyfriend who got me to the point where I am comfortable with my body and I don’t like wearing all the makeup I use to or all the things I use to do to myself. Unfortunately a lot of women don’t have the man that will tell you you’re beautiful or sexy when u have no make-up or you have a dress on so short you butt shows and have boob implants. A lot of guys wonder why women are so self-conscience but they are the ones who set the images that for us to look like, then they get mad when we make our selves look like what they want.

  18. Clothing designers want models that are human clothes hangers with attitude. They want all the focus to be on their designs, not the persons wearing them. Catwalk models represent roughly 1% of the female population in height and weight. These models are then plastered everywhere in ads and magazines.
    People look heavier on camera than they really are. Actors are forced to lose weight or work out so that they look “sexier”. Ad people and most film makers are more interested in selling their products than in representing real humans in real situations.

    Adults and children alike are confronted with these unnatural images everywhere – TV, billboards, movies. When something is repeated continuously, people begin to believe it is true.

    My youngest daughter was asking for blue contacts and to get her hair bleached by the time she was 7 in spite of my careful screening of what she was exposed to. I had to explain to her over and over that what she was seeing all around her was fake and unnatural. I was also careful to point out to my son when a woman has had a boob job – those ridges under the skin at the edges of the implants – that’s sexy? Yuck!

    People need to take responsibility for what they believe and what they teach their children. We could also boycott the worst offenders and started demanding an end to what is truly discrimination against 99% of US females. Women are more than 50% of the US population and spend the most money on food, clothing, and other everyday items. We have the power to change things by carefully choosing who we give our money to.

  19. Gabriella Souza

    I loved this article! I truly believe that many people in our society are disordered from trying to obtain an unrealistic figure. Women in fashion magazines, billboards and movies are very unnatural. The ideal woman presented to all of us is completely flawlessness. Like you said, “women try in vain to match ridiculous notions of beauty.” And yes, they are ridiculous because we know that not only they are unnatural, but also are “fixed” with tons of make-up and Photoshop.

    I believe that this unrealistic ideal woman is negatively affecting women’s self-esteem. To be honest, sometimes I find myself not happy with my body and my appearance, especially when comparing myself to models. Luckily, I have a boyfriend who constantly tells me that I am beautiful and tries makes me feel confident. So I try to always remind myself to be thankful for what I have, and to feel good for being exactly who I am. After all, I believe that true beauty comes from within.

  20. Marcus Coleman

    I can truly say I am not that guy. Porn is unattractive to me because the girls are so fake. The people around me think that I am crazy because I like flaws. My favorite kind of girls are the ones that have flaws but they embrace it and make the best of it.

  21. While there is a great deal of truth in this article, the other side of the coin is that If you walk down the street of many foreign countries – probably where their eating habits are healthier and less full of processed foods, you see a ton of women who do fit that ideal stereotype, of size 6. Russia, Asia, many places. Since they are often pushing prams too or holding onto kids, I take it that this is quite their natural weight.

    As for hair, it was very normal in soviet Russia for women to blonde their hair. You can’t blame that on western media or porn culture.

    • Well, the ideal stereotype is skinny and big boobs. How does a woman manage to be skin and bones and have an enormous amount of fat in her chest? And you can’t compare ethnicities. For instance, African-American women have more muscle mass and Asian women have very thin frames (and they still don’t look like the ideal).

      And consider what Victoria Secret models do to look that way (one quit when her niece said she would quit eating, too, so she could be pretty): http://broadblogs.com/2011/12/30/how-to-look-like-a-victorias-secret-angel/. After that, they’re photoshopped.

      And yes, you can blame Western culture for Russian blonde hair. Very few women past puberty have naturally blonde hair, and Western culture has managed to permeate the planet.

      • I don’t see people saying supermodels are unattractive, and since they have small boobs, I don’t think stereotypes unequivocally demand big boobs.

        You say women can’t look like what men see in porn. But very few porn women have boob jobs. Porn women are normal women, albeit not necessarily average ( I mean, show business was never about being average). Victoria secret might be air brushed (I have no idea), but porn isn’t.

        I mean the same argument would demand that Hollywood ought to hire ugly actors and actresses, otherwise men will feel they must find Scarlett O’Hara and women would wait to find Rhett Butler.

        I think soviet Russia was pretty much isolated from western culture. The reality is, platinum blond IS more attractive than dirty blonde. And black is more attractive than dirty brown. Its not the media who made it thus. Not everything is a media plot. :-)

      • I’m afraid you mistook my satire for science.

        Otherwise, I must say that plenty of porn stars have implants. Certainly the majority of those I’ve seen. Implants were first used in the sex industry, in fact. See this short interview with someone who’s researched the history of breasts. http://www.salon.com/2012/05/10/on_the_rack_a_cultural_history_of_breasts/

        And it does affect men. See this: Men Finding Fewer Women “Porn-Worthy”
        http://broadblogs.com/2010/11/16/men-finding-fewer-women-%e2%80%9cporn-worthy%e2%80%9d/
        It also affects women’s self-image, whether it affects all men or not. See: Sexual Desire & Sexism
        http://broadblogs.com/2012/05/07/sexual-desire-sexism/

        That said, I agree that most people, including me, find small-chested (ideally 34”) runway models gorgeous.

        I disagree that platinum is more attractive than dirty blonde. My opinion: Angelina Jolie is way more attractive dirty blonde.

      • If you define “porn star” as famous names, perhaps many have boob jobs. But for porn actresses, most of whom aren’t stars, not many have boob jobs. No doubt it was different in the 70s and 80s.

        I think Angelina Jolie is a natural brunette, but she changes her hair colour so often it’s hard to tell. Brunettes don’t look right as platinum blondes. But you know that whatever colour she has, it was carefully managed by a hairdresser costing thousands of dollars. Even when she is dirty blonde, it is a very uniform color unlike lots of real dirty blondes. The uniformity and distinctiveness of a very clear colour, is why it looks better. Funny you would hold up Angelina Jolie to support you who changes her hair colour more often than her underwear!

      • Where do you get your info on lack of boob jobs. Nearly every porn actress I’ve seen clearly has them.

        The fact that Angelina changes her hair color allows us to see that she looks better one way than another.

  22. I’m sorry, but men aren’t attracted to skinny blonde women with fake tits. Well, some are, but I think most men won’t actually find that attractive. It’s just a silly stereotype. It’s a very ’90s cliché. It’s like saying “women are attracted to firemen and men in police uniforms”, it’s generally not true. I’m a male and none of my friends are attracted to skinny women with fake balloon breasts with blonde hair. Me and most of my friends are generally attracted to women on the thicker side. You’re kind of stereotyping men and making us out to be some kind of caricature. Talking about thin super models is pointless, super models aren’t supposed to be attractive to men, they’re suppose to model clothes. Super models are simply meant to be clothes-horses. I don’t know any man who is sexually attracted to those super skinny models on the catwalks. The mainstream media is not a very accurate representation for what people actually find attractive.

  23. Men love those fake women they gaga over them. But i dont understand some of these men are not all that but want women with all that. I knew one man like that he was not all that body wise n not big at all but i liked him but he wanted more in a woman. When we were together he gaga on women who dressed with short shorts n showed off there breast. That why women go FAKE. Women noticed mens eyes in what they look at n gaga over. HELLO its no lie

  24. Not all men want blond hair its the BODY of a woman that matters to them

    • True, not all men like blonde, but some have a huge preference for it.

      Some men care more about hair or face than boobs. Others have strong pref for boobs.

      Some like fake women. Others natural. (My post was a bit of an exaggeration to have some fun with an interesting point.)

      I’m glad there are varieties of men who can appreciate varieties of women.

  25. And men who like big women its cause some of them have big breast see its true another reason about FAKE n women who get them done are not all skinny women. Tell me what n where do you find men who dont mind small breasted women.

    • Large breasted women are in no danger of American men not finding them attractive. However, not all guys have the same taste.

      See these posts:

      What If Women Went Topless?
      http://broadblogs.com/2012/07/25/what-if-women-went-topless/

      Men Prefer Great Hair Over Big Breasts?
      http://broadblogs.com/2011/04/06/men-prefer-great-hair-over-big-breasts/

      Keep Your Boobs, Get Better Guys
      http://broadblogs.com/2011/07/13/keep-your-boobs-get-better-guys/

      In this latter post, click the link where guys criticize big-boob obsessed guys (the website you’d get to is called “girls ask guys”)

      Also see this comment I wrote to another person on another post, who was using evolutionary psych to justify his own preoccupation with boobs:

      Traits that aid survival are more likely than others to be successfully passed on. If large breasts were so good at indicating fertility and aiding survival, then genes for large breasts would be passed on more often than genes for small breasts. And yet, when there is low obesity and no implants (like the US in the 1950s) 70% of women are an A or B-cup – considered small today.

      Sure, when a woman’s body weight is so low that she is no longer fertile, her breasts will be smaller, but that is completely different from perfectly healthy women who are an A or B-cup.

      Of course, the notion that large breasts reflect physical superiority was evidenced at the Olympics, where the women competitors all had enormous breasts. Or, turning to intellectual superiority, go to any academic department – Harvard, Yale, Princeton — and you’ll see that all the female faculty are of the most buxom sort.

      Not.

      Even the breast-vagina (clitoris, really) connection you mention would argue for the “superiority” of smaller breasts. Smaller breasted women usually feel this connection more strongly. And it’s probably in the service of getting women to BREAST FEED (since it feels good), anyway!

      And, tribal societies tend to prefer smaller breasts (even if they don’t experience a breast fetish) because without bras large breasts get long and tubular. Seen a National Geographic lately? (Maybe that’s why we have so many smaller-breasted women today.)

      Also, I was referring to the BREAST FETISH, not general attractiveness – and I think most people got that. (I specifically used the term “breast fetish” in the post). There’s no fetish involving waist-hip ratios.

      People often use evolutionary psychology to justify the status quo. In this case, justifying US men’s obsession with big breasts – “They can’t help it, they are just looking for the best genes” — a fixation missing in many parts of the world, like Europe.

      Do you get that if men in our culture preferred small breasts, all of the above would be used to explain that status quo?

      Who cares if the obsession unnecessarily objectifies women and crushes their self-esteem (almost no women feel good about their bodies, and a perceived failure to live up to the standards of the big breast fetish is one big reason why). It also leaves many wonderful women out of the running – while leaving many men missing out on wonderful mates, even as the big breast fetish leads too many women to do UNHEALTHY things like get breast implants.

      Here’s another reason why objectification and the big breast fetish hurts men, by the way:

      Does Sexual Objectification Lead to Bad Sex?
      http://broadblogs.com/2011/07/27/does-sexual-objectification-lead-to-bad-sex/

      • Do a article on do men like small breasted women

      • Cool n let me know

      • In case I forget, you can subscribe to the blog if you like. (See bottom of the right-hand column on this page)

      • And a article on men over 40 who dont got it bodywise but perfer women with breast and big butts in facebook u will find women posting themselves. I knew men like that n i dated one he had no butt n was small i did not mind. But he did he would look at women who dressed with short shorts n small tops n they were young women 20s and some 30s. To me he liked trashie women how sad i am a mom i dont dress like that i know better i have teen daughters n they dont like dressing that way thank you. Please Help me

  26. It is sad that thier is so much pressure handed to women to try to be as perfect as possible. Their are so many harmful things that women do to try to achieve these looks that men have been taught to think is ‘normal’. Even some of my friends I know have been triggered into thinking they have to look and become this ideal image if they ever want to become attractive and appeal to men. I am even at fault of this as well..I am always criticizing my wieght or appearance and comparing it to that of women that are not even real! I mean how often do you see victoria secret models or dallas cowboy cheerleaders walking down your street. hardly ever. But it is the fact that is it so publicized that women should fit this apperance to be sexy that ruins it for all the normal girls just trying to fit in in all of this. I mean this goes the same for men..i don’t expect every guy I see to be Channing Tatums look alike..so why do men??

  27. amosch it funny how this comment section is filled with women making broad comments about men based on the continual imagery pushed to them through the fashion industry. Have any of you ever noticed how much of the fashion industry is run by women?

    When I sit on Facebook and see men post images of women they find as “hot”, I tend to notice they are mainly curvy women with big butts, or athletic/muscular women who are nowhere near being Victoria’s Secret. Of course we don’t see men admiring the large/heavy-set woman, but we do not see loads admire the fake models as much as women do.

    What “beauty elements” do men admire? Men like women who want to be sexy. Women who will let out their “inner slut” and tantalize them. They want the girl who would put on the dress and heels to go out, rather than just pants, blouse, and flats. They want the woman who will never cut her hair, and would scoff at those who think pîxie cuts are “stylish”. They want the woman who would be a “freak in the sheets” and surprise him with some sexy lingerie, rather than just stick to the comfy stuff every night.

    With men it’s not about cup size, BMI, or fat percentage. It’s about women who show their femininity and sexuality. The ones who found a great balance between feminist ideals and being feminine.

    • I think many of us have been with men who are like you, AND with men who fit this post (which is exaggerated to make a point). I know I have been with both types.

      Many women and men internalize the narrow notions of beauty described here. (Many men tune in to watch the Victoria Secret Angel fashion show and many buy Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition and women in porn often look as described here.)

      The narrow beauty ideal is mostly directed at women, though, and it’s out there to make women feel bad about themselves (no one can fit this ideal) and then buy stuff to “fix” the “problem” which will never go away, promting eternal sales.

      • I agree with you. I’ll also toss in now that men are being held to standards as well…and thus we’re seeing many lonely men often deemed as “nice guys” who feel ugly, undesirable, and feeling unable to change in a way that appeals.

        These are the men who see women drool over stars like David Beckham, Channing Tatum, Bradley Cooper, Justin Bieber, etc…and then look at themselves and feel like they’re worthless because they don’t look like them. They try to go out and get dates, but their own low self-esteem fails them.

        NOW…I’m not trying to blame women here, but more show how really both sides seem to face the same issue. For you women it’s a fashion/celebrity industry that makes you feel ugly and inadequate, so you run out to buy clothes, diet miracles, and such in the hopes you might look like the fake models you feel inferior to.

        For men, we get the same on our end…only we’re either pushed to buy “pick up artist” books, or buy stuff, or work to make money in the hopes of “buying” love, or we end up consuming porn to avoid.

        I guess the moral of this comment is we’re all in the same boat, but sometimes both sides have to turn off the TV, toss the magazines away, and look at the world around them. Look at how many men are honestly not clamoring for a model as his wife, and how many women seemingly aren’t expecting their man to be athletically fit with a massive bank account.

        Both sides of the gender divide have to stop letting the media/marketing machine dictate what we’re supposed to “like”.

      • And I agree with you.

        I’ve written a bit on this. See

        David Beckham’s Sex Sells
        http://broadblogs.com/2012/02/06/david-beckhams-sex-sells/

  28. you know, i ‘m fed up of people talking about humans as if they were brainless sex driven mammals! we happen to be the most developed member of the animal kingdom, as we have the ability to talk and whatever, so any wannabe scientist can try and shove that! and besides the whole ideal women thing makes me think that all men care about is snagging a hot page 3 girl who just degrades herself, when not all men are like that!

    • “all men care about is snagging a hot page 3 girl who just degrades herself, when not all men are like that!”

      “All” is an exhaustive word, but I suspect you would be surprised what men secretly fantasize about, even the ones you don’t suspect.

  29. This article is based on a lot of stereotypes that aren’t really accurate. As a man, I have never found myself attracted to an “unnatural” looking woman. On the contrary, I (like most men) prefer women who are naturally beautiful without the need for makeup, who are height-weight proportionate (medium build, not “skinny”) and who have small-to medium breasts. I have never been attracted to blondes, (though occasionally one will grab my eye), and the slightest hint of plastic surgery sends me running for the hills. I think the very notion of “ideal” beauty is lie. But so is the notion that “ideal beauty” is what men want. We want beautiful women, yes. But there are no set rules on what that even means.

  30. I agree that “men are just naturally attracted to women” – at least most men that I know. However, I don’t believe that men are “attracted to unnatural women”. If they say so, they must be big liars, desperate, or very frustrated. If I look around me at all the married women that I know, I would not select any of them for the cover of Vogue Magazine even with massive Photoshop “upgrades”. Nothing near Pam Anderson – even before the surgery! Still, their husbands seem happy with the way their wives look. Women who follow the diktat of the fashion designers and promote their style lack common sense. Western men are just the victims of that trend and probably look with envy at other cultures where the standards of feminine beauty are different: Indian actresses in Bollywood musicals, for instance, don’t seem to be starving and Indian men seem to appreciate their curves and natural features (and dark hair as well).
    It’s true that despite a change in the mentalities, advertisers in our country still use the female body to promote food products. It would be interesting to survey what men really think when they watch the Carl Jr’s commercials featuring a super sexy woman with fake boobs and a juicy burger. I asked my husband. He said that she looked completely “fake”, and not attractive. I am sure he was telling the truth because, on the other hand, he had trouble concealing his feelings of envy at the image of the burger dripping with fat! The commercial should be censored for false advertising anyway because the amount of calories in one burger certainly exceeds the USDA daily allowance! Unless she eats only one a week, that girl couldn’t keep such a figure.
    Fortunately, most of men look at real women, and not only at those unrealistic figures in the magazines or on TV. I’d be curious to know the percentage of young men who watch porn movies – I don’t mean the more mature who are too shy to question their doctor about the blue pill, but just those whose hormone production is normal. Not many I believe!
    The relationship between men and women is not only about sexual relationship and the “I want to spend the rest of my life with you” is not – only – a catch phrase to get a woman’s consent. Yes, both sexes are frustrated. Most people, women and men, need a little bit of tenderness too. The fact that men are attracted by women’s breasts also has to do with the unconscious memories of intimacy with their nursing mother, that warm feeling of security and the discovery of physical beatitude – regardless of their mother’s cup size! Women don’t realize that fake breasts don’t fool anyone and what’s the point? Getting an aching back and a loss of sensations? Oedipus probably would have spared his father’s life had he found out that his mother’s breasts had become two lifeless bags of saline solution!
    And last not least, men are not like dogs: they don’t like bones! They know that a little padding on the bones can make intercourse more comfortable. Their biological instinct draws them to the woman the more likely to give them healthy offspring – at least that’s what I remember from my anthropology class! The view of a palpitating ribcage, instead of sexual arousal, may just awaken the dormant fear of food shortage! Hence the reaction salivating in front of the juicy burger! Now I get it!

    • Well, the men don’t say that they are naturally attracted to unnatural women. Many just don’t get that they often are. And it’s funny how their biological instinct can be overcome by culture.

  31. I found the title of this article to be quite interesting considering the guys I know complain about how they’d prefer to date a girl who is all natural with regards to makeup. They say things like “She’s so pretty, I just wish she didn’t wear all that makeup.” However, it’s her beauty that attracted them to her in the first place. Most guys say they prefer girls who are barefaced for the most part, however, reality proves otherwise.
    I think it is so saddening to see models starve themselves to the point where they’re only skin and bones, and no longer menstruating. It is even sadder to hear girls my age complaining about how perfect a models life must be, because that’s clearly far from the truth.

  32. It’s funny for me to hear this because the two men I am closest too in my life (my husband and brother) do not share this problem of wanting the “perfect woman”. Don’t get me wrong I do understand there are many men out their like that but I think it has a lot to do on how you are raised and who you have been around. Both my husband and brother have sisters and a mother they are very close too. I think this is why they both see women as “real” and not a fixed up make believe version that is all over the media. I think if a man has many women in his life that he truly cares for in a non-sexual way this problem isn’t as big. I could be completely off here but this is just what I have experienced.

  33. I love this article because it shows how women are supposed to want to become this ideal type of beauty. This beauty is entirely false. Although all this is true, there is also this ideal form of beauty for men. Women want muscular men with attractive faces and intelligence and great personalities. They want this because they have seen this in movies and magazines. Unfortunately, like the ideal woman, the ideal man doesn’t exist either. Women are attracted to the fake muscles created by steroids. Men don’t go as far as women do by getting surgeries, but they still must compete with this ideal image of what a man should look like.

  34. I read another article saying women find men bodies ugly and unappealing, and they found women more sexy and beautiful. Well if men attracted to unnatural women, I guess its fair.

    • No one that I know of is saying that men’s bodies are ugly. They just aren’t fetishized.

      And when it comes to women, there is only a narrow notion of what is considered sexy. About 80% of young women have poor body image and feel ugly.

      I would like to see both men’s bodies and the varieties of women’s bodies become better appreciated.

  35. hey why my comment is moderated?

  36. Guilherme Paludeti

    Based on mostly porn and modeling, we’ve sexualized big breasts and “fake” as better than natural. Kind of sad to think that a woman who feels insecure needs to go through surgery to make herself feel better, and she’s not even making herself feel better, she is doing it for others. It seems as of late that it has become the popular thing for whether its men or women to put your looks in front of your health. What people need to realize is nobody is perfect and everybody has flaws, even models have flaws…just because someone may SEEM perfect on the outside doesnt mean they are perfect in the inside.

  37. I find all this very funny and ironic. Humanity is seriously lost. First and foremost, in the animal kingdom, the sex that carries the offspring (usually female) is the sex that has mate choice – that is to say, is supposed to be picky and choosy about which mate to choose. The human male, whose sperm is cheap and made constantly, is supposed to be showing off to US, women; now why, has the table turned? I think that women nowadays just have too much of a burden – they have to put loads of makeup on, spend hours in front of mirror – just to get the attention of an average guy? and who is to say he will be committed? and leave us stranded and pregnant? Competition is a man’s game, dammit. I will not make myself a godamn fool for some guy, and if men will be picky – for hell, I should be 10 times pickier. Im the one who is supposed to take care of the baby – this is the natural law of evolution: women choose because they have the bigger burden of reproduction. For hell sakes, Imma gonna go to a sperm bank and get a super models sperm and have a baby and laugh in the face of these shallow men. And, I don’t need your resources, either because I’m educated!

    References

    Evolutionary biology
    The Beauty Myth by Naomi Wolf
    Life

    • Well, the post is a little exaggerated to get at a kernel of truth. A bit satirical. The truth is that a lot of guys seem to want this in women. But at the same time researchers found that most men find most women at least somewhat sexually attractive. By contrast, most women don’t find most men sexually attractive at all. (That isn’t to say that most men will never find a woman who is attracted to him. Luckily, both women and men have a variety of taste, with people tending to prefer someone who resembles themselves.)

    • Yeah, if you just want a guy’s sperm, you can be picky. If you want a father for your children who will be there for you, the balance of power is different. You notice the same on dating web sites. If its a sex oriented site, the women can be as picky as they like. If its a serious marriage site (e.g. foreign brides), the men can be picky.

      So yeah, if you want only a guy’s sperm, feel free to be picky.

  38. Have you watched porn? Plenty of the women are natural, and many are no where near menstruation-stoppingly thin. A few gross hacked up bimbos at the top do not an entire industry make.

  39. I for one prefer a girl as her natural self rather than the same girl wearing makeup or having surgery or any other extreme things to look ‘good’. If a guy is that way then he was stupid enough to let the popular ‘culture’ of today’s society to led him astray.

  40. This is so sad and true, ive have had so many friends my age thinking the worst about themselves and honestly that I think isn’t attractive to me. Having a low self esteem, bombards your chances of most importantly being comfortable and simply happy with yourself. Many women need to open either eyes that what theyre seeing on TV and on magazines is just pure lies. You can never look like that and be that happy. For example, I believe that as good as a Victoria Secret model looks but in her head she’s been brainwashed to be the thinnest the most perfect, but what she doesn’t understand and many women don’t understand as well there is no such thing as perfect. And having men expecting us women to look a certain way have to stop and think to themselves and separate what is real and what is not in the real world. Having young teenagers wanting to look unnatural is just disappointing they go soo far just to simply be accepted in society and to men. But that will never happen society is never satisfied, they want more/better.

  41. I agree with the article. Men always say they don’t care how women look. They just care about personality, but they’re actually attractive by sexy women. They started at women with fake boobs or butts. And they think these women are perfect. They wish they could have a girlfriend as sexy as those women. Sometimes, I don’t actually understand what the men want. I think they’re more complicated than women

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